Post by Dina Gripenstraw

"I had a patient yesterday who was the same age as my mom and had a similar cancer. She wasn't doing well and her doctor went into her room for a frank discussion with her and her family. He came, with much love, with the decision to stop treatment and let her die.

Our beautiful, kind and gentle chaplain Laura and I were at her bedside. I was administering morphine for comfort, and Laura said to her "Are you afraid to die?" So direct, just like I felt when you and I were there with my mom and the hospice nurse. Remember? You and I are the only two people on this earth who remember that, one of the most horrible moments of my life.

My patient immediately, peacefully, answered "No, not at all." I took a huge breath and left the room and wanted to cry all day, but I didn't. I took excellent care of my patient and her two sons, dealt with loads of bullshit (sorry, another cuss word) on a busy ICU day outside her room, and finished my day.

Laura came by at the end of the day to check on our patient and I told her that the moment we had shared earlier was very hard for me because I had a very similar moment with my mom before she died. She said, "Your mom was not afraid, she worked so hard and found peace. Her biggest concern was for your daughter; she talked about her all the time."

I was taken by surprise for two reasons. First, I realized that this chaplain who I work with daily had spoken extensively with my mom while she was a patient in my hospital. Why hadn't I realized this before? Second, I never perceived my mom as "working hard" to find peace through her journey with cancer. (Excuse me, but I have to say right here, Fuck Cancer!!).

Could it be that she made it look easy to me? Could it be that she hid the struggle part? I never saw it. And then the painful reminder of the lost relationship between Corrie and my mom became again too painful for me to bear. I've been tired and somber, resting all day, and finally realized what I wanted to say on your blog. Simply post for me, Fuck Cancer.

Poem from Saundra Curry

BEHOLD BARACK!

Bold

Beautiful

Black

Bewitching

Beloved

Bountiful

Bodacious

Breathtaking

Bi-Racial

Bitterless

Bright

Beguiling

Buoyant

Best

Big

Biblical

Busy

Blameless

Bedecked

Booted-and-Suited

Budding

Blessed

Buttressed

Bullish

Behemoth

Beneficent

&

Beyond Belief

Poem from Jean Zlotkin

E Pluribus Unum
Commemorating Inauguration Day 2009

It is no surprise to me, Mr. Obama,
that you are standing
where you are today,
though some might think
otherwise.

It is no surprise to me that
someone of your mixed ethnicity
has been chosen from among us all
to serve not only America
but also, in effect, the world, and
Earth, herself.

It is no surprise to me
that someone of your sensibilities
recognized that America can yet be
what those first leaders long ago
envisioned but is yet far from reality.

It is no surprise to me that your
mother, my contemporary,
afforded you the opportunity
to blend race and cultural differences
into a family.

All these are the reasons so many
young people, old people, white people
black people, rich people, poor people
scared yet excited people,
sent their dollars and their hopes,
their prayers and their votes
your way.

Tuesday we will hold our breath
as you take that oath,
feel our eyes water, our chests
tighten, our hearts burst,
with hope -- and fear,
for so much is at stake.

Not just America, and our way of life,
but the great ideals that gave us birth,
almost lost, it seemed, just yesterday;
not only humans but all life forms
depend, now, on what we do,
and how we do it.

So, it will not surprise me
that you may ask us,
when you speak on Tuesday,
to remember that it takes
a village to change a culture,
and courage to follow a leader.

It will not surprise me if you say
the road is long, the way is hard
and the dangers lie ahead,
not behind. And tell us also that
the way is wide enough for us all.

E pluribus unum maybe read
Out of many, one; or some say
One, from many; either way
we must travel together.

And it does not surprise us
that you will lead the way.

JMZ 1/17/09

And Here's Why

Our ability to express our feelings, desires, fears, frustrations with words is one of the essential components of being human. A number of friends have expressed a desire to have a place where they can post their writing occasionally, without feeling like they have to do it on a regular basis.

So welcome to Because It Matters!

And believe me it does. Writing that is. So, write when you are happy! Write when you're sad! And write all the time in between. And post only when you feel like it.

I haven't figured out yet how to give everyone direct access to posting (logons, passwords, etc.) so for the time being, email your writing to me and I'll post it.

Happy writing!